9 times out of 10, new coaching clients come to me as they want to be more confident, feel more confident, behave in a more confident way. They come to me as they know that building your self-confidence is NOT an easy thing to do and it’s not a one thing and done, it’s a process and I can partner with you on your journey to growing your self-confidence BUT it takes time and working with me (or anyone) ISN’T A MAGIC BUTTON.
You might look at other people and think to yourself, well, they did it, they’re so confident, how did they do it? Often not easily. Confidence is like a muscle, it takes time to develop, patience with yourself and practice. A part of that practice is what you say and think to yourself about yourself.
Our brains are wired to go to the negative so it takes extra effort to focus on the positive, the forward thinking, the ability to cheer yourself on.
How to get started?
Take Carol Dweck’s brilliant Growth Mindset approach and next time you get fed up or frustrated with something and you turn it on yourself, add ‘yet’ onto whatever berating phrase you’re internally beating yourself up with.
For example, you just can’t figure out something in a work program – Excel, Crystal Reports, some bizarre accounting system the company you work for uses (!).
Instead of “I can’t do this” or “I can’t figure this out” and then turning that into “I’m clearly shit/thick/an idiot” in your head.
Say the phrase out loud and add “yet”.
“I can’t do this YET!” – stand up and give yourself a triumphant pose too or a raised fists in the air Rocky at the top of the stairs stylee!
I’d go so far as saying your own name first too, e.g. “Suse, you can’t do this YET!”.
Give it a go next time you’re being a meanie to yourself!
